Ramblings of a tired Queenie

May 17, 2008

Queenies Mood:Cool as a Cucumber emoticon Cool as a Cucumber

I should title this post “100 reasons why I shouldn’t drink rum runners”. Or maybe I could call it “Rum Runners - they stick to your thighs in 10 pound increments”. Either way, I kinda feel like my bod has been possessed by aliens this morning.

I am attending a Women’s Self Defense class today. I don’t know if I need it but at least I get to play with my hot TKD instructors again. Woot.

I need to do some work on Wicked Weighs today. Right now, I can barely think to type. I hope that improves before I have to start playing with code.

I am craving coffee. Kinda weird to me.

My son has officially stayed up all night long. His first time running on no sleep. Hub is feeling froggy. This is going to be fun.

I think I need some wheat grass. Yep. I do.

My juicer is not arriving fast enough. Does it not know how anxious I am for its arrival? Apparently not. I must educate it on proper listening skills as soon as it arrives.

That is all.

What do I look like - a nimrod?

May 16, 2008

Queenies Mood:Devilish emoticon Devilish

So, I am setting at my desk on Thursday morning. Surfing blogs, commenting and doing all of my Queenie goodness. When I receive notice that I have received a comment on my blog. It’s from one of my PayPerPost ads that I wrote. Shortly after, I receive this email:

Hi Queenie,
My name is Alen and I want you to notify something in your blog!! which is holding me back to approve it.please buzz me soon!!
Regards,
Alen

I noticed that “Alen” is using an email address that doesn’t match his name. His email came from Ronny Abraham [ronnyabraham@yahoo.com]. Kinda weird. Since the post hadn’t been approved yet, I replied. I probably shouldn’t have wasted my time and just gone with my gut. I was trying to be nice and considering that PayPerPost has gone through some changes lately, I assumed this had to do with my unapproved post.

The exchange was pretty entertaining as I grew less and less tolerant of this dip shit. Thought you guys would enjoy it as well. So, here ya go.

Me: Hi Alen. What am I being approved for and what do you need me to do?

“Alen”: Is there any ways to talk to you clearly rather than mailing for each reply!! Ummm WHAAAA???For some reason, I begin to picture “Alen” wearing a towel on his head, setting in front of a rack of computer monitors, while sucking down Lechee soup.

Me:Alen – I received a comment from you on my blog. You have not identified yourself other than to say you are trying to approve me for something. You tell me that your name is Alen yet the name on the email says differently. I have no idea who you are or who you are with. Do you really expect me to hand over my telephone number? I am a bit more intelligent than that. If you would like to correspond with me, it can be done via email. I hope you understand.

“Alen”: Please check out this post: “I need a car loan” I have waiting for your reply.. pls be serious!! and dont disclose to anyone.. regards, Your friend! Again I say …WAAHHH? That was my post in question and since when are we friends Alen. You fucktard. This is going to get fun.

Me: That would be my post on my blog…That I wrote. And I still am not passing out my telephone number. I will be passing along all of these emails to the nice people at IZEA as well as putting them up on my blog tomorrow with your email and ip address. You know, just for entertainment. Have a great day !!!

“Alen”: please do not do that ..i just thought to help you so that you wont loose any money..I will loose my job!!! If you think that i wanted your phone number then you misunderstood me! I am God fearing person and thought to let you don’t loose any money. Please do not take this step!! Understand me..Regards, Alen. Because lord knows all of us actually use every stinking piece of anything we review or mention on our blogs.

Me: Well, I hope they have federal aid over there in India “Alen” because I personally don’t give a shit. You, your 4 wives and your pet goat can starve for all I care. You misrepresented yourself to me not to mention you completely insulted my intelligence. You were indeed hoping for a phone number – we both know that. I already sent this information along to the people at IZEA and my post will be written to be published on my blog as soon as I stop typing this email.
In the future, I would stop taking for granted that all women on the internet are complete idiots. Most of us aren’t. And we certainly are smart enough to know when we are dealing with fuckwads. Have a great day.

So, If anyone hears in the news that Miami gets bombed or has some sort of suspicious activity happening and I go missing, please alert the feds of my blog addy. They have my permission to ransack my laptop…just so long as they don’t publish my porn photos. Oh and FYI - Mr. Hot Fed guys that may have to read my blog to track down “Alen” - his email addy is ronnyabraham@yahoo.com and his IP addy is: 59.163.212.125 Whoopsie. Did I just post that publicly so all my blog friends can spam him and tell him what a fucktard he is? Naahhhh.

Happy Friday all. Ciao.

Let Me Introduce Myself

May 15, 2008

Queenies Mood:Giddy emoticon Giddy

Hi Blog World,
My name is Queenie. That really isn’t my name ya know. That is just what everyone calls me. I got the name from my hub really. He treats me like a Queen and tells me that I am his Queen 24/7 so naturally, when I started blogging 5 + years ago…it just sorta stuck with me. Now, it’s plastered on my birthday cakes, used as screen names, emails ect.

I am sometimes thought of as an opinionated bitch. It’s a compliment to me most of the time. You see, it wasn’t long ago that I believed that I wasn’t entitled to have an opinion. I wasn’t smart enough to voice my thoughts and I certainly didn’t deserve to be listened to. Yep. Hard to believe, but that was me. Now, not so much. Now, my hub has worked his ass off to make sure that I know I can be heard. That I am the smartest lady alive and that my thoughts are something worth spewing. That is one of the main reasons that I love to blog. It gives me a place to toss it all out there. Without all the BS that goes along with telling people how you think and feel.

Despite having that label up there, I am genuinely a nice person. I love to help people. Even more, I love to take care of everything and everyone on the planet. It it something that was bred into me. I am a good ole midwestern woman who just happens to live in Miami. That means, that I am one fucked up cookie. I say ya’ll, oye, soda and drink sweet tea like a fiend yet I still cook from my crock pot and push a shopping cart when I hit the grocery store. I also have family values and I cherish my marriage. Something hard to find in most people now a days. I don’t care where you live.

I have 3 kids. Kids that quite honestly are the best kids on the planet. They are brilliant and they are funny. I am also a home school mom. It is a choice that was made by all 5 of the members of my family. I didn’t force them into it. It was mutual. We make family decisions around my castle. Not because I am a whimpy parent, but because I am teaching my kids to be independent and also that their thoughts and beliefs mater. That is just how we roll.

I will occasionally post things in my blog that make people upset. I believe that it is easier to read things and then deal with them on your own rather than to have to act like a human being and deal with face to face confrontations - at least for most people anyway. Sometimes, I just need to spew the things that are in my head. I don’t mention names when I spew. But I also don’t pull any punches. If I have thoughts, they need to get out. My head is a scary place sometimes. So, if you are in my life in any way, please know, that you may at some point, be blogged about. Get over it.

I have an uncanny ability to read people. Read. Sounds strange doesn’t it? I get feelings from the people that I am around. Most of the time, in my experience, those feelings are right on. Let’s add in to this, the fact that I am not afraid to tell it like it is and …well you can now better understand why I get that whole opinionated bitch thing.

I believe in karma, fate and magic. This is one of the reasons that I choose to be happy and nice. What goes around, does indeed come around. And if karma works a bit slower than I’d like, I don’t hesitate to put your name in my freezer. This is probably the only part of my life that I do keep private. Simply for the fact that I don’t want to be burned on a stake in the center of town.

I do all things passionately. Everything. I always feel that if you aren’t going to put your whole being into every breath that you are taking, it’s not worth breathing. I love, live and laugh under that decree. This blog will reflect that. If I am angry, the whole world will know it. If I am happy, the sun will shine and the birds will chirp all the way to China. This makes me a nonstop ball of energy most of the time. People often think that I am stressed out because my plate is always overflowing. That plate doesn’t stress me out on most days, it gives me purpose.

One of my biggest peeves, is encountering people who are afraid to be who they really are or say what they are thinking. I am not a complicated person. I appreciate people who are not afraid of their thoughts or ideals. I accept the fact that this world is full of people with brains. Each person is certainly entitled to their own set of beliefs. I embrace that. I enjoy filling my life with people who are different than I am. It makes things diverse and fun. I do not speak in code and on most days, I don’t read minds. If you have something to say to me, say it. Don’t be a pussy.

I blog for my own well being. As I mentioned before, my head is sometimes a scary place. Don’t come here and tell me how I should think or what I should write. That isn’t acceptable here at my place. As much as I love my readers and I love it when people comment, please know, If you don’t like what I have to say, there is a nice “x” up in the right hand corner. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out. This is the one place on the planet that I don’t have to share with kids, husbands, friends, dogs, cats or fish. It’s all mine. My thoughts. My feelings. If you aren’t man enough to deal with that. Don’t come here.

With all of that said, welcome to Queenie’s Place. I am your host. For your own safety, please refrain from feeding the wildlife and keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. Thank you.

I Lost Monday

May 14, 2008

Queenies Mood:Happy emoticon Happy

…or maybe it was Tuesday that I lost. I am setting here at my desk, firing up to do my TMI Tuesday post when I look at the date and realize…it’s ummm Wednesday. Whoopsie. I hate when that happens.

Since you didn’t get the official post, I thought I would toss ya a few TMI moments of my own.

  1. I didn’t get laid on my camping trip. I don’t know, that camper rocks when you turn over at night, I could not imagine doing the deed on that back bunk.
  2. I did get a nice crotch flash of my hub while we were snorkeling. That seems to be tradition for us. We flash each other through the crystal clear water of the springs while we are sporting the oh so sexy snorkeling gear.
  3. I did not see one fucking bear this trip. I usually do. Normally its late at night and I am alone, walking to the potty or something. Nope. Not this time. Damn bears.
  4. We also didn’t see one alligator on this trip. They apparently didn’t want to pose for photos for me to send to Chica. Stupid Gators.
  5. Bonus: I did sexually torture my hub on the ride home though. I love it when the kids fall asleep when we are on the road. Heh. Can you say blue balls? Oh come on, he was fine and totally took care of business when we got unloaded at home. Geesh.

I am also being a good girl and got back to work. Yep. Responsibility. Which is currently what is keeping me from rambling on anymore today. Duty calls. Ciao.

I Just Don’t Get It

May 13, 2008

Queenies Mood:Giddy emoticon Giddy

When we planned our recent vacation, I let all of the in laws know when and where we were going. We would be camping 5 hours north of where we live. Keep in mind, that no one really drives all the way to Miami to visit us anymore - except my parents. They are weird though. They actually like to see us. In any case, my hub’s entire family all lives in Central Florida where we were going to be camping for 4 days. So, I let them all know that we would be up in their neck of the woods.

We saw 1 sister and 1 brother. That was it. There is another sister up there, a brother that we don’t care to see and my MIL. I didn’t hear one word from the MIL to even tell me that they wouldn’t be making the hour drive to visit with us.

We enjoyed our trip a bunch. Had a great time with the family that came out to hang with us. For some reason though, the lack of visit from the MIL kinda bugged me. We literally have seen her 3 times in 9 years. She has a grand daughter that has pretty much no clue who she is. That is somehow my fault, I am sure. The last time I checked, the roads traveled both north and south. Although, we did find out that they do close I-95 southbound from time to time whenever my SIL tries to come down. She told us that this weekend. Good info to know Wendy. :P

So, here I set. Wondering. What in the hell have we/I done to make my hub’s mom not want to put in any kind of effort to see us? Is it because we are happy? Is it because her youngest son worships the very ground that I walk on…and I worship him as much? Are our 3 kids too brilliant for her to want to be around? I just don’t fucking get it.

So, I am taking applications now for a new MIL. Here are the job requirements for anyone who is interested:

  • Must be willing to travel. Holiday visits are an added bonus.
  • Must possess mad southern cooking skills. It is just a requirement for my MIL. Live with it.
  • Must never wrinkle your nose or make other weird faces at DIL for her choice in food. Love for sushi would be an added bonus and would greatly improve your chances for hire.
  • Must occasionally enjoy a phone call from the son or wicked daughter in law and not act like we are inconveniencing her/him.
  • Must worship my husband almost as much as I do. I do not tolerate anyone belittling him or speaking any kind of negativity about him. He is perfect. We all know that.
  • Must call all 3 grandkids on their birthdays or at any other time that they do something fabulous. Sending gifts and candy is considered added status to the worlds greatest grandparent title.
  • Must be willing to CALL my husband on his birthday and not just send an email. She/he must also realize that we are busy and very social and not leave some sappy “you are never there” message on the voice mail when he isn’t around to take the above mentioned phone call.
  • Must occasionally be available for MIL/DIL bonding outings. A relationship with the woman whom my hub worships should be at the top of your priority list.
  • Must never be jealous of the relationship my hub has with me. Instead the applicant must show appreciation that my hub has extreme talent for being a hub that is great enough to have such a terrific wife.
  • Will NEVER EVER question what we do with our kids. Applicant must always know that we are brilliant beyond words and we are living outside the box of normalcy. Applicant must embrace our parenting style and enjoy watching the miracle happen.
  • Applicant must also be willing to occasionally to tell DIL how great she is and how wonderful it is that DIL can keep hub so happy - also referred to as a pat on the back - because we all know that aside from being perfect, hub is not the easiest thing to live with and keep happy.

Please send resume and photos to me directly. Thanks. Oh and…
2 of the 6 kids in the family

Ciao.

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