Because I Don’t Wanna

I am sick of writing about the house fiasco. I am sick of crying and screaming and telling the world what a team of idiots I have been dealing with. So this post is about something that I am actually excited about – The Olympics.

Opening Ceremonies – this Friday evening. I can’t wait. The only thing that would make it better would be to be watching from my own living room, in my own home, on my own TV. *sigh*

I have to say that I just LOVE the Olympics. Every part of it. I think the American athletes rock and I do not have a favorite – winter or summer. I just love it all. Although watching Michael Phelps swim his ass off at the last summer Olympics made me pretty giddy.

Do any of you watch faithfully? Does anyone else print out the viewing guide and tape it to the wall above their TV so they don’t miss ANYTHING?…..Yeah. Me either.

Well, It’s Something

So the circus continues with the house ordeal. We have been back and forth with the title company. Back and forth with the mortgage broker. Back and forth with the realtor. Somehow…this week…it seems that they really do want to make this deal happen. It appears that someone along this process is indeed tired of us. We have been told that we will be closing at some point VERY soon. Don’t have a confirmed date yet. Not sure if VERY soon means the same to them as it does to us but right now, when my sanity is stretched almost to it’s breaking point, I WILL TAKE IT!

Reality: The realtor told us last week that we would be closing sometime NEXT week. She is sticking by that although we are not sure what else they have to get taken care of between now and then because everyone has a different version of THAT process. The mortgage broker has told us that we will be getting this done by our deadline – which was February 15…it is also a holiday so that translates into next week. The owner of the title company has told my husband “not to worry that it WILL be done” more than once when he mentioned the next impending deadline. I say that I am refusing to get excited. This whole up down up down thing is pretty much a joke at this point but really, the prospect of it actually happening soon – I am almost giddy.

I don’t care that we haven’t been able to clean the place. I don’t care that the lawn is knee high. I don’t care that we may have keys for DAYS until the utilities can be turned on. I just want it over with. It would make me happy if it could happen like…ummm…yesterday!

Juggle Juggle – I feel like a clown sometimes

Today, I started taking an actual yoga class. Not that WII fit stuff either. Real instructor at an actual studio. I FRICKEN LOVED IT! I feel like I am doing something to get back in touch with my bod again. Step one to avoid meltdown for Queenie. In any case, when I do stuff like this, there is always an internal struggle to get going. Internal as in “What do I do with the kids?” “Is this worth it to give up time at home with them” Are they going to kill each other while I am off doing something for myself” You know, Momma stuff.

Today, as I lay on the mat at the end of my class. We were in the process of grounding. (relaxing ourselves before the end of class) I decided that I didn’t care what I walked in to when I got back home that I was going to give myself these two hours each week. I deserved and NEEDED them.

So today, I took a step to get myself back. I want to be that lady who is in total control of who she is again. I want to stop being a victim of my whacked out brain. I miss that crazy lady.

So, I think it must be the moon

I seem to be very annoyed with people today. Actually, I have been annoyed by people for most of the week.

Idiotic decisions. Stupid choices. Dumb mistakes that YOU have made then you have the nerve to wonder what in the hell is wrong with life. Nothing is wrong with life. Other than you have been deprived a few brain cells – OBVIOUSLY.

Where should I dig up sympathy for these individuals? It’s nothing that they can’t control if they choose to. They CHOOSE to stay in the situation they are in. They CHOOSE to allow the drama. They CHOOSE to let the people around them affect their lives. Yet, apparently they don’t see it that way. Instead they hold pity parties. They whine and bitch at every turn. They beg for a miserable time. Worse yet, they expect ME to hold their hand when in reality, I want to knock them in the head with a brick.

Sometimes, I feel bad about feeling this way. You know – like I am a bitch. Other times, not so much. Today, I noticed that we are coming upon a full moon. Rather than thinking that I have loved ones who are really this idiotic – I am going to blame it on the lunar cycles. Much easier that way.

Between crying fits

I realized something last week. All of this shit that has been stressing me out – I can’t change any of it. That has me both pissed off and relieved. I would really hate to think that I was in control of this chaos.

In any case, I made the decision to just let it go. What choice do I have really? I can’t make these people get my paperwork done any quicker. I can’t make them not be idiots. Hell, I can’t even make them like me. It’s all business right? They have kissed my ass on occasion for one reason only – to make a buck. The beauty in this realization: I don’t have to like them either. I don’t have to be nice to them. I don’t have to treat them with the respect that they have failed to give me or my family. The only thing I HAVE to do is show up and sign the papers and collect the keys to our dream home.

With any luck, that can be accomplished in the next couple of weeks and then I can very sweetly tell them to kiss my inpatient, unethical and ridiculous ass. Hmmm…maybe I should have a shirt made to wear to the closing????