Funk N Stuff

You ever have times when you just don’t want to deal with people? Last week was one of those times for me. I wasn’t grumpy. I wasn’t sick. I just didn’t want to deal with anyone else’s drama or bullshit. So…I stayed away from people. For the most part.

Today, I got back into the swing of things and was asked where I had been hiding. Rather than brush off the questions, I was honest. Told anyone who asked that I was kinda tired of other’s drama and BS. Then said that I took a break to save lives. It was the truth.

I am still not keen on BS overload but at least I don’t feel the need to spork anyone…at the moment. That may change by tomorrow…especially if I can’t find new homes for my dogs…and cats…and the kids.

How do you

I sit here, after a long couple of days, wondering how on earth I could be feeling the way I am. I called my sister today and cried. Just whined about every petty little thing that was hanging its ugly head over mine. I said to her repeatedly throughout our conversation that I didn’t know how in the hell I could possibly be whining so much. I mean, look at my life. I have a great hub. Healthy and happy children. A job that I love most of the time. We just bought our dream home. Yet here I am. Some days….feeling absolutely miserable. I am not unhappy about the things I mentioned above. Nope. Not one bit.

Instead I am unhappy about the people in my life. I put these apparently ungodly expectations on them that they can never live up to. You see, I expect them to respect me as a person. I expect them to not say things to deliberately hurt me. I expect them to treat me as well as I treat them. And they are constantly letting me down. I just don’t get it.

I don’t think that asking someone to be as compassionate as I am as a person is asking too much. I don’t think that asking my friends to treat me with kindness should be anything that would put any of them out of their comfort zone. Apparently it is. How in the hell do I keep putting people like this into my life? Do I have a magnet on my head that only attracts assholes?

Over and over, I put myself out there to build relationships. I emotionally invest in friendships yet…I am the one being hurt all the damn time. How do I stop that? Do I really even want to? I mean, that would change who I am wouldn’t it? I love who I am. I just can’t figure out why the people that I invite into my life don’t just accept that person. I can’t find a way to flip my switch so that I don’t have any more days like today. Days that I just cry from the hurt…and disappointment.

Free to a Good Home

One fat assed cattle dog. Slightly obedience trained – just enough to be impressive.  Loves walks on his leash and chasing the fucking cats through the house at 6 am!!!!!

Why oh why do I insist on loving these damn animals? Really? I have had them back with me for going on 3 weeks. I was actually miserable without them. And today – I am ready to toss them all into the lake with bricks around their necks. It was warm in my bed. I was having steamy dreams….that in no way included listening to a stampede of elephants!

I am sick of animals today. Sick of people. Sick of being cold. Sick of having a schedule slap assed full of shit to do every single day. Sick of people insinuating that I don’t live every waking moment for my children…..

Hello world. Today, Queenie is grumpy.

Parenting: the Drinking Conversation

Anyone that knows hub and I knows that we occasionally party. Mostly, we throw them. Leaving us safely at home with our kiddos. No worries about driving afterward – for us anyway. We do however find ourselves with friends in our home who should not be driving. For one reason or another, these friends don’t seem to get the fact that they drove themselves to our home, THEY chose to drink themselves silly and while we always always try to get the overly enthusiastic drinkers in our crowd to stay here when the party ends, they rarely do. It really puts hub and I in a spot. I mean, we don’t force our adult friends to consume liquor. We ALWAYS have non alcoholic options to enjoy. Yet, these adult friends make the choice to consume so much that they can sometimes barely stand – then they walk out our door with the car keys in hand. There have been nights that we have hidden keys from people. We have driven others home at all hours of the night. We have been yelled at for it by these people who we refuse to let drive a vehicle. But there are always the ones who we can’t stop. All adults mind you.

My point to this post: My kids are plenty old enough to get that now. They understand that these people in our lives are first of all drinking to a point of being stupid assed drunk and secondly, driving a vehicle in that condition. I don’t hide my kids away when we have people over who are drinking. As a result, my kids understand the effects of drinking. They have seen people have fun and relax – you know, doing it responsibly.  They have also seen them passed out and falling out of chairs as well as seeing the loved ones of the chair crashers having to deal with that. THEY GET IT.

What they don’t get today, right now, is how some individuals can drink to the point that MY kids know they are drunk – and then they drive a vehicle. We had one such conversation yesterday on the way home from the Ren Fest. Some of the people who were with us yesterday – including my very own husband – enjoyed the beer at the fest. A lot. Then drove an hour south to get home…..

For the record, I had ONE mojito…at noon.

As my hub was passed out in the seat next to me, I drove us all safely and responsibly back home….while the kids and I had this very difficult conversation. (HOURS after my one mojito) My answer is always the same when they ask “How can he be ok to drive?” “How does she think it’s ok?” I tell my sweet and loving kids that we can’t make every adult on the planet listen to us. They are adults NOT children. They are making their own choices and will therefore have to live and deal with the consequences of those choices. Yes those choices aren’t always the right ones but that is THEIR choice. They should indeed NOT be driving in their condition as it is illegal and yup, morally wrong, stupid and probably the dumbest thing to do EVER! Then I tell my kids, “Next time we see them, why don’t you ask them why they think it is ok for them to do it. “  I am certain that comments will be made and they will be blown off by the adults who were put on the spot by a 14 year old, a 12 year old and a 9 year old.

I listened to my son rant about one specific person in our group that was driving in this condition…a rant he has made several times about this same person..which he also mentioned…this rant caused my middle one to shed a tear or two and I had no answers for them. Because really, what could I say?

Now What?

Last weekend – I did this thing. Which led to a pretty big thing that happened yesterday. Something that was on my “life list” for the past almost 3 years. A couple of weeks ago, I did this other thing that was also on my “life list” and was kind of another big deal.

Today, I am sitting at my computer wondering what in the hell I am supposed to do now? Really? After the past couple of weeks that I have had, how can anything even begin to compare?

My mind is just mush at the moment. These past two weeks have been…incredible for me. I really want to find a way to just enjoy the moment but I am not sure that I know how. I have always been a go getter. When I want something, I do it NOW. So, when I have done it, what is left to concentrate on? Accomplish? I don’t feel ready to set new goals just yet. Is that part of enjoying my moment?

Today, as I listen to Mother Nature grumbling outside, I think I am going to hang up the Super Queenie cape. I will do what any normal person would on a stormy day….just as soon as some normal person can tell me what in the hell that is.