They paid me to write this

Bruce Lee …Help Meeeee

We have no plans on the agenda for the weekend. NOTHING. I am psyched about it. My to do list is huge for crap to get done at my desk. This adult onset ADD is kicking my ass. Which makes my Friday look something like this:
Run errands
Grocery detail
Gulp an entire bottle of Ginko Biloba
Try [...]

We have no plans on the agenda for the weekend. NOTHING. I am psyched about it. My to do list is huge for crap to get done at my desk. This adult onset ADD is kicking my ass. Which makes my Friday look something like this:

Run errands
Grocery detail
Gulp an entire bottle of Ginko Biloba
Try to get SOMETHING finished

Anyone have suggestions for how to make my brain stop wandering around Tahiti while I stare at my computer screen? I think, just maybe, it might involve me unplugging telephones and duct taping my kids somewhere. Can’t be sure though.

An Answer

It’s funny how that post I wrote two days ago looks so glum to me today. No wonder you all have been worried. Really, I have been feeling icky. I am grumpy. I am tired of idiots. I am sick of having housework on my plate every fucking day. Most of all, I am tired [...]

It’s funny how that post I wrote two days ago looks so glum to me today. No wonder you all have been worried. Really, I have been feeling icky. I am grumpy. I am tired of idiots. I am sick of having housework on my plate every fucking day. Most of all, I am tired of having so much shit that I HAVE to do and not enough of he stuff that I want to do. Yep. I was venting. Nothing more. Really.

For the record – I am not offing myself. I am not depressed although I do have bad days on occasion. Surprising, isn’t it? Queenie isn’t all Ms. Happypants 24/7. Get over it. I will be blogging about my shitty moments from now on because well…it made me feel better. I got to go back and really consider how I was feeling and why. In the long run, that process helped me to move through it. Rather than run away and hiding, you will get ALL of me. Oh and ummm Jas, I am NOT going to eat meat. Sorry. I couldn’t imagine feeling that yuck on top of this other crap.

Today, I hung out with my fur baby a lot. He seemed to be the only one that really knew what I needed to hear. Nothing. He also was the only one who knew what NOT to say to me. He licked my foot while I was holled up in my recliner – His way of letting me know that he was still with me. He wagged his tail when I asked if he wanted to go check on the orchids. The best part….he didn’t complain about the world. He didn’t ask anything of me. He didn’t forget to call when I was feeling crappy. He didn’t try to tell me how to live my life. He didn’t chose a girlfriend over a long time friendship. He never once rolled his eyes or aggravated his sister. He didn’t complain about what I fixed for dinner. He didn’t try once to make me feel like his shitty decisions in life were somehow my fault. He didn’t blame me for his hectic schedule either. Nope. He just hung out with me today being a lazy ass. Exactly what I needed. Now, later tonight when I voice my list of other things I need….he will go find his soft bed to lay on and he will leave that part of the list to my hub.

Toss out the trash

No HNT post today. I am not feeling it. I am not feeling much of anything at the moment. It has occurred to me that I am holding on to a lot of baggage. I have anger floating around in my head toward people that really don’t matter to me anymore. Still, the [...]

No HNT post today. I am not feeling it. I am not feeling much of anything at the moment. It has occurred to me that I am holding on to a lot of baggage. I have anger floating around in my head toward people that really don’t matter to me anymore. Still, the emotions are there. It flares it’s nasty head at the weirdest times too. Making me feel like a freak. I have a list a mile long of things that I THINK I need to be doing, above everything else. Reality is, it doesn’t matter to anyone but me. Since I am spewing I may as well admit that I have let myself go – again. Put my well being on the back burner to deal with all of this “stuff”. I haven’t been exercising. I have been feeling physically crappy again. I have been sleeping like hell. I think about it and it’s because I am putting all this “stuff” at the top of my list of priorities and keeping myself at the bottom.

I haven’t written anything on my health blog for MONTHS because each time I think about it, I feel like a hypocrite. It is something that I enjoy sharing normally though. Used to rule my life. I used to live and breathe healthy eating and exercise. Lately, it’s all I can do to pull myself out of bed in the mornings. Sitting here now, I feel better just saying what I am. This is what this blog is for. Being bluntly honest with the feelings I have. Putting them down so that they can slap me in the head when I need it.

I did an exercise this week, and spoke to some friends about the power of a positive attitude. Funny how my brain already knows what I need…even though it hasn’t quite completely registered. I suppose THIS is my kick in the head.

Made a list…checking it twice

So, with the ADD thing I mentioned earlier, I decided that the only way that I would make it through this week would be to make a list. The list from hell, I am calling it. It is probably the best list I have ever made but it is an entire page long. Entire Page.
I [...]

So, with the ADD thing I mentioned earlier, I decided that the only way that I would make it through this week would be to make a list. The list from hell, I am calling it. It is probably the best list I have ever made but it is an entire page long. Entire Page.

I broke it down into 5 sections. One for each day of the week. I put everything that I had scheduled on first – with their times. Priorities ya know. Then I added to the list, everything I needed to do this week. It is now Tuesday and I have to say that so far, the list is working. I got everything done on my Monday section yesterday PLUS I did something from Tuesday yesterday. Which technically puts me ahead of schedule right?

My mom will be so proud. Have to run now though. I didn’t put blogging on the list. Call this my rebel moment.

New Week – Thank God!!!

I spent last week being one sick Queenie. I had a cold but it totally wiped me out. Dishrag extrodinaire. I was a mess. I decided last night that I wasn’t going to be sick anymore. I woke up this morning and guess what? I am not.
It’s not that I am wimpy. It just [...]

I spent last week being one sick Queenie. I had a cold but it totally wiped me out. Dishrag extrodinaire. I was a mess. I decided last night that I wasn’t going to be sick anymore. I woke up this morning and guess what? I am not.

It’s not that I am wimpy. It just slows me down and THAT is the part I hate. For an entire week, I listened to my bod. Slept when it said sleep. I didn’t work out. I ate what it told me to eat. But now, it’s time to push a little again. I need to go spin. I need to kick. And I need to stop laying around like a lazy ass.

On the good side, I read two books last week. I didn’t blog though. I have just not been feeling it. I think that part of me is coming back too.

I spent a glorious weekend with my family. Yep. Valentine’s Day. No babysitter needed. The 5 of us spent the day out playing and it was wonderful. I had to lecture my hub into niceness for a few hours. Give him a little coaching about being sweet and not being Mr Sarcastica. He caught on quickly though.

Funny thing though, we wound up at a mall. A huge mall. I never have felt more like a hillbilly than I did at that moment. Here we are, walking off our lunch, camera hunting for me and we are in the Dolphin Mall. Large chaotic mess of hallways and pass throughs. Primary language is not English. I swear, I was on the verge of whapping one of those make up kiosk ladies if they came at me one more time saying Cambio this and Puede that. Aggghh. No Spanish Barbie, I am not buying your shit especially if you can’t speak ENGLISH!!!! We lost my truck. It rained. We were the minorities. To top it off, no one had my camera. I did get a good laugh about how this was my kids one outing for the year. Since we are home schoolers, we can’t do that too much. We would ruin the image of anti social children. THAT giggle fit carried us through the rain and straight to the missing truck. I am weird that way I suppose.

I also just realized that I probably would have felt better last week if I had spewed all the crap in my head into my blog.