From the nuthouse

Funk N Stuff

You ever have times when you just don’t want to deal with people? Last week was one of those times for me. I wasn’t grumpy. I wasn’t sick. I just didn’t want to deal with anyone else’s drama or bullshit. So…I stayed away from people. For the most part.
Today, I got back into the [...]

You ever have times when you just don’t want to deal with people? Last week was one of those times for me. I wasn’t grumpy. I wasn’t sick. I just didn’t want to deal with anyone else’s drama or bullshit. So…I stayed away from people. For the most part.

Today, I got back into the swing of things and was asked where I had been hiding. Rather than brush off the questions, I was honest. Told anyone who asked that I was kinda tired of other’s drama and BS. Then said that I took a break to save lives. It was the truth.

I am still not keen on BS overload but at least I don’t feel the need to spork anyone…at the moment. That may change by tomorrow…especially if I can’t find new homes for my dogs…and cats…and the kids.

How do you

I sit here, after a long couple of days, wondering how on earth I could be feeling the way I am. I called my sister today and cried. Just whined about every petty little thing that was hanging its ugly head over mine. I said to her repeatedly throughout our conversation that I didn’t know [...]

I sit here, after a long couple of days, wondering how on earth I could be feeling the way I am. I called my sister today and cried. Just whined about every petty little thing that was hanging its ugly head over mine. I said to her repeatedly throughout our conversation that I didn’t know how in the hell I could possibly be whining so much. I mean, look at my life. I have a great hub. Healthy and happy children. A job that I love most of the time. We just bought our dream home. Yet here I am. Some days….feeling absolutely miserable. I am not unhappy about the things I mentioned above. Nope. Not one bit.

Instead I am unhappy about the people in my life. I put these apparently ungodly expectations on them that they can never live up to. You see, I expect them to respect me as a person. I expect them to not say things to deliberately hurt me. I expect them to treat me as well as I treat them. And they are constantly letting me down. I just don’t get it.

I don’t think that asking someone to be as compassionate as I am as a person is asking too much. I don’t think that asking my friends to treat me with kindness should be anything that would put any of them out of their comfort zone. Apparently it is. How in the hell do I keep putting people like this into my life? Do I have a magnet on my head that only attracts assholes?

Over and over, I put myself out there to build relationships. I emotionally invest in friendships yet…I am the one being hurt all the damn time. How do I stop that? Do I really even want to? I mean, that would change who I am wouldn’t it? I love who I am. I just can’t figure out why the people that I invite into my life don’t just accept that person. I can’t find a way to flip my switch so that I don’t have any more days like today. Days that I just cry from the hurt…and disappointment.

Free to a Good Home

One fat assed cattle dog. Slightly obedience trained – just enough to be impressive.  Loves walks on his leash and chasing the fucking cats through the house at 6 am!!!!!
Why oh why do I insist on loving these damn animals? Really? I have had them back with me for going on 3 weeks. I was [...]

One fat assed cattle dog. Slightly obedience trained – just enough to be impressive.  Loves walks on his leash and chasing the fucking cats through the house at 6 am!!!!!

Why oh why do I insist on loving these damn animals? Really? I have had them back with me for going on 3 weeks. I was actually miserable without them. And today – I am ready to toss them all into the lake with bricks around their necks. It was warm in my bed. I was having steamy dreams….that in no way included listening to a stampede of elephants!

I am sick of animals today. Sick of people. Sick of being cold. Sick of having a schedule slap assed full of shit to do every single day. Sick of people insinuating that I don’t live every waking moment for my children…..

Hello world. Today, Queenie is grumpy.

Now What?

Last weekend – I did this thing. Which led to a pretty big thing that happened yesterday. Something that was on my “life list” for the past almost 3 years. A couple of weeks ago, I did this other thing that was also on my “life list” and was kind of another big deal.
Today, [...]

Last weekend – I did this thing. Which led to a pretty big thing that happened yesterday. Something that was on my “life list” for the past almost 3 years. A couple of weeks ago, I did this other thing that was also on my “life list” and was kind of another big deal.

Today, I am sitting at my computer wondering what in the hell I am supposed to do now? Really? After the past couple of weeks that I have had, how can anything even begin to compare?

My mind is just mush at the moment. These past two weeks have been…incredible for me. I really want to find a way to just enjoy the moment but I am not sure that I know how. I have always been a go getter. When I want something, I do it NOW. So, when I have done it, what is left to concentrate on? Accomplish? I don’t feel ready to set new goals just yet. Is that part of enjoying my moment?

Today, as I listen to Mother Nature grumbling outside, I think I am going to hang up the Super Queenie cape. I will do what any normal person would on a stormy day….just as soon as some normal person can tell me what in the hell that is.

You know that disclaimer thing??

That part of my blog where I mention to all those in my real life that they may be mentioned in my blog at some point. Yeah. Today is one of those days.
So….last week…on Friday…we finally closed on our house. It is weird. Really weird. We keep wandering around the place in awe. Just [...]

That part of my blog where I mention to all those in my real life that they may be mentioned in my blog at some point. Yeah. Today is one of those days.

So….last week…on Friday…we finally closed on our house. It is weird. Really weird. We keep wandering around the place in awe. Just seems surreal that we are actually here now. Making it home. I don’t know, just seemed like it wouldn’t ever get here. Now it is.

Buying a home, although we didn’t realize it a few years ago, it truly has turned into a dream for us. A place that is really ours. Our own rules. Our own sanctuary from the rest of the world. We finally have that now and while it is completely overwhelming on so many aspects, it is really, really great.

So anyway, we made our plans to move in based on what the 5 of us could get done. I learned a long time ago not to count on others. As much as that sucks, it is my own self preservation technique. If I don’t count on others, they can’t disappoint me. We had our PODS delivered. Arranged our electric and water then planned for a couple days of cleaning and a couple days of unloading.

Friday evening, amidst a torrential downpour, in walks Monica and her boys. A welcome reprieve. Someone to be as excited as we were for us. We got to give her the tour and listen to her ohhh and ahhh. Her excitement just proved that this 7 months of craziness was worth it…well worth some of it anyway. She not only gave our emotions what we needed, she climbed on my kitchen counters on Friday night and scrubbed my cabinets so that I could put my kitchen together – TWO full days ahead of the anticipated schedule. The kitchen is the center of my ability to make this place a home for my family.

We all laughed. We scrubbed. We had a fabulous night. She also told us that they would be back bright and early on Saturday to help some more. Hub and I went to bed with smiles on our faces and we were indeed thankful for the extra hands.

Saturday rolls around. We were expecting my parents. Knew that Monica was planning to come back at some point. Then Hubs phone rings. It is Jesse and Kitty. Our TKD instructor and his other half. They needed directions. They were coming to help. Within 30 minutes of their arrival, in walked Monica, her boys and Jason (Her brother and Jeffrey’s favorite brainiac) We had more muscle than we knew what to do with. The PODS were completely unloaded by 1 pm. Then….yep, more….the ex hub showed up and he and hub and most of the muscle went and grabbed a load from the home we have been staying in for the past 3 months. HUGE burden handled. In less than one day. The best part was that my parents didn’t have to help with much of the big moving stuff. THAT alone made me one happy Queenie.

I still sit here thinking that I owe my parents and friends something more than my gratitude. They made this move in better than we ever could have imagined. We are tired as hell, but eternally grateful. So to all of our loved ones – THANK YOU!!!! Over and over and over again.