Author Archive

I Can Do It - No Problem

Thursday, Mar and I are gabbing and we realize that we don’t have details for a party we were planning to attend. I shoot off an email to the hostess. Get a reply back saying “Party has been postponed until after the holidays.” What’s a get it done gal to do when she has guests [...]

Thursday, Mar and I are gabbing and we realize that we don’t have details for a party we were planning to attend. I shoot off an email to the hostess. Get a reply back saying “Party has been postponed until after the holidays.” What’s a get it done gal to do when she has guests planning to attend said party that is now postponed? Why…we plan our own of course. I can do it. No problem.

Those words seem to come out of my mouth a lot. It gets me into tons of trouble too. Handing me a hugely packed schedule and not nearly enough time for the important things…you know…like eating and sleeping…and sex. I am just a get it done person. How does this affect each day for me? It can turn a once quiet morning into a flurry of phone calls and emails. In 45 minutes, I now have a location, a guest list of 45+, food and entertainment planned and invites ready to go out. Yeah. I am THAT good.

Action drives me. I hate sitting and wondering. And if people aren’t moving fast enough….I can do it. No problem. Welcome to my world.

HNT - Sexxxxyyy

So, I hop on the scale this morning. It shows I am up 4 pounds since I started spinning. A month ago. To that, I would like to say WHERE??? Because to me, these legs are HAWT!!! Thank you my torturous spinning instructors. I love what you do to me with my clothes on [...]

So, I hop on the scale this morning. It shows I am up 4 pounds since I started spinning. A month ago. To that, I would like to say WHERE??? Because to me, these legs are HAWT!!! Thank you my torturous spinning instructors. I love what you do to me with my clothes on so that I can love what you have done to me with my clothes off. Heh.

Happy HNT Ya’ll.

For Sale

Delightful home in the South Dade County area. Includes: 3 children, 3 dogs, 2 cats, 2 vehicles in excellent condition. In ground swimming pool, an orchid garden and a pop up camper. Willing to trade for an airline ticket to Jamaica, Costa Rica, or anyplace warm!!!
I didn’t move here for it to be in [...]

Delightful home in the South Dade County area. Includes: 3 children, 3 dogs, 2 cats, 2 vehicles in excellent condition. In ground swimming pool, an orchid garden and a pop up camper. Willing to trade for an airline ticket to Jamaica, Costa Rica, or anyplace warm!!!

I didn’t move here for it to be in the 40’s in fricken November. Yes, at night it was BELOW 50 degrees!!! It’s November. This usually doesn’t happen until late January for us and it normally last for a day or two and then goes away. It’s November…it’s been here almost a week already. It’s not leaving either. I am running out of warm clothing. Yesterday I sat around in my fuzzy lounge pants all day long. But tomorrow and Friday I have to go out in public.

*off to climb into my oven now to warm up*

TMI Time

When did you last use your cellular telephone as a flashlight? I do this all the time. I have a Crackberry, that screen is huge. I can find a lot of shit with that much light.
On a scale from 1-10, how comfy are you being naked? I love my naked time. I don’t get [...]

When did you last use your cellular telephone as a flashlight? I do this all the time. I have a Crackberry, that screen is huge. I can find a lot of shit with that much light.

On a scale from 1-10, how comfy are you being naked? I love my naked time. I don’t get to do it nearly enough. It’s like therapy to me. Just last night, I said to hub “I am ready for being naked now.” Off to bed we went.

What is the longest you’ve ever been celibate after having lost your virginity? 2 days. Ok maybe a little longer. Sex life with the ex hub wasn’t all that frequent. I really don’t know though. If I didn’t have a man around to do, I just took care of things myself.

Have you ever had sex in a car? If yes, since you were a teenager? I think the only place I haven’t had sex is in an airplane. I don’t like to fly so I can’t see that happening any time soon either.

When did you last use food or drink as medication?Hellloo they call it MY voodoo for a reason. I rarely use medication. It’s almost always herbal and/or food.

Bonus: Name three words that:
a) get you excited Ohhhhh Ahhhhh Ooooooo Hehe.
b) make you squirm Ouch, UhOh followed closely by Mommy, and whenever people start convos with Ummmmmm. That usually means they don’t want to be saying what they are getting ready to say.
c) make you laugh When hub sees me and groans “oooohhhhh” (that means he thinks I look yummy), hearing someone say my name when I walk in “Queeniiieeeeee!” (it makes me feel welcome and that they are glad I am there) and when I hear my kids saying “momma” while giggling ( I know something silly is about to follow)

On an added note: Does anyone want a cattle dog? Mine are outside, and they are barking non stop…at the AIR. It’s making me insane.

Holiday Purge

The holidays are coming and I have been in a funk. This is totally not normal for me. I am the fricken picturesque Christmas Queenie. Santa hats flying, lights on anything that won’t move. Baking non stop and festive enough to make Martha Stewart jealous. This year, not so much and Turkey Day is right [...]

The holidays are coming and I have been in a funk. This is totally not normal for me. I am the fricken picturesque Christmas Queenie. Santa hats flying, lights on anything that won’t move. Baking non stop and festive enough to make Martha Stewart jealous. This year, not so much and Turkey Day is right around the corner. It’s like the grinch stole my Christmas. Only it wasn’t a fuzzy green guy. It was my mom, my hub, my grannie and lots of other people and happenings.

Has anyone else noticed how fucking grumpy everyone seems to be right now? I mean, down right mean to each other and nasty moods. Gaahhh. So much for holiday cheer.

My sis left Florida a couple months ago. The holidays this year will be the first that we haven’t all been together in a really long assed time. It feels a bit weird. Ok, A LOT weird. With Turkey Day on the horizon, mom and dad decided to camp near the castle in their motor home and spend it over here with us. Works out great actually because Des has a bday that weekend too. A weekend of celebrating. In the camping spirit though, we tossed the idea of not having turkey and just roasting hot dogs etc. At the time it was mentioned, it sounded great to me. No stress. No fuss. THEN, I am informed, via a conference call, that Mom and Dad aren’t putting up a tree this year for xmas and they are coming to my house for Christmas too. Going straight from here to sis’ house to celebrate with them. Great news for Mom and Dad. My issue is this, we never got an option to keep with the “tradition” that we have been sharing with the family for the past ohhhh 9 years for Christmas. So not only are we bagging Thanksgiving, but we are tossing Christmas too.

Moving on. For the past few years, my family has had some bad luck around Turkey Day. I don’t need to relive it but suffice it to say that we now have a running joke in the family that whoever doesn’t want to die should decide to spend Turkey Day in our presence. Yes…year after year of people we love getting gravely ill or passing over this great holiday. A couple years ago, my Grannie blamed it on my house. Telling me it was cursed. We have since moved out of the house that “was cursed” yet I keep having nightmares of the dreaded phone calls and her showing up announcing that it’s not my house, it’s me. Stupid I know but it adds a special ambiance to my festive mood. Don’t ya think?

Hub…I love him. He is a scrooge. He does all that he does for me. I know that. He wears his fancy santa hat. He drives me around to look at the decorated houses. He endures my days on end of Christmas music and the house smelling like cinnamon. He doesn’t bitch when I drain the bank accounts on gifts. Sometimes, like now, when I am on the verge of meltdowns because my holidays are trying to get stolen away…I would love for him to turn into Chevy Chase on the Grizwold Family Christmas. Only…I don’t want him to fry a cat.

I had decided to cancel my huge assed Christmas party this year. Go for something smaller. Less people. Not so much to get it all together. I am thinking that I will just be very selective of the guest list and I will require people to wear Santa hats.

As for the change of the big family plans….I cried yesterday to my hub. Got it out of my system I think. Like Barack says; Time for change. We are making our own traditions this year. My family of 5. Because when the rest of the world disappoints me…these other 4 are all I know that I can count on.

PS - even though I don’t eat it, it’s still Happy Turkey day to me.