22
Jan

What really sucks is

Posted by Queenie 22 January, 2010

I can’t help but sit here in my state of hysteria and wonder what in the hell I have done. Really. Is it wrong of me to not let people treat me or my family like shit? Is it bad that I don’t tolerate getting stabbed in the back over and over? That because of all of the above that I occasionally am required to say some not nice things to people. Is that sending out bad karma? It must be.

I have no where to run. I really don’t. It is all that I can do to hold myself together. All I feel like doing is running far, far away. From everyone. My husband and his ability to lose himself in something so that his brain can stop worrying about all of this shit. My kids who seem to think that this is one big fucking adventure. My parents who just keep telling me that if I don’t stop worrying that I am going to wind up in the hospital. You come do this and find a way not to be stressed out…….I am sick of everyone and everything at the moment. I just want to lash out at anything that breathes. I may as well right? Its not like all this kindness and happiness that I am trying to spread has done any good in MY life. I send it out and get nothing back but bullshit and aggravation.

So as I sit here, locked in the room that I have called “mine” for the past 2 months, bawling my eyes out yet again….I just hope someone figures out how to toss me a lifeline before I completely sink. 

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Categories : From the nuthouse

Comments
January 22, 2010

I will gladly stand here and be your venting wall. Scream, yell shout, hit (if I’m allowed to duck away) or anything, just for you to get it out, so you can get clear headed again. It’s asking alot for you to remain positive about all this, I do realize that, but I do hope that when the clouds clear that it was worth every minute of angst. It will be. Hold the hope. Even when your upset, hold tight to it. *huggggggs*

Posted by Chica

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