What do you call THIS?

It’s Thursday 13. I have nothing cute and witty. So I bring you: 13 random things that are in Queenie’s head right now.

1.I have been a tad bitchy lately. Complaining. Whining. Having hissy fits. I think change brings that on. Not THAT change. Lord knows that I would willingly welcome that if it meant no more cramping and losing half of my blood supply each month. I have been working on a life transformation for the past few months. Since the end of September. I hit one of those points that I realized that I was the only one that could fix the things that needed fixing. I was having panic attacks that pretty much debilitated me. I was obese (according to the nice health check calculator), I was still trying to settle in to our new castle (after 8 years of living in the other one), we had no money, and pretty much nothing was going very right. The only thing that I knew was rock solid was my hub and my kids. So I grabbed on to them and have let the rest fly.

2.I have given up meat and most other yucky for me foods, including my beloved Pepsi. I have lost over 30 pounds. I am still 17 away from my goal. But I will hit that goal before May. I am writing for Our Wicked Weighs which is the site that fueled me to get where I am physically. It has been a great honor for me to be asked to join them and it’s equally as frustrating. I read comments from people after we write a post and most of the comments are excuses for why they aren’t making changes. I just don’t get that. I feel so damn great. I think that others should want to feel like this too. I give them the tools that worked for me yet there they all are. Doing much of nothing. The only thing that keeps me going there is knowing that there is one person that I may help. Just one, would be worth everything to me.

3.Testing time is coming for my kiddos. I, again, am freaking out. Not for the kids, but for me. Testing for them is an informality. If they don’t do well, that means that I suck. Right? I haven’t done my job correctly in educating them. Honestly, I have those worries almost every day. We hang out with public school kids and I see my kids being so far ahead of the others. But, we hang out with home schoolers and I feel like my kiddos are so far behind them all. I need to find a way to stop judging us. I just don’t know how. Yet.

4.I am keeping my fingers crossed that we can spend at least one more year in our current house. We are renters. Last year, having to move, just about killed us financially. We had to borrow money to make deposits etc. Not wise, but we felt we had to do this for our well being emotionally. We are starting to make adjustments now to get our money on a good level. Our lease isn’t up until August. I am worrying ahead of time, I know. I just want to be able to get our feet under us properly before we hit that huge of a wall.

5.Speaking of finances, I am reading “Total Money Makeover”. At the recommendation of Erin. It has opened my eyes and armed me to make the last of my life changes. We are no better off than before I read the book, but the steps are in place to free us of that kind of stress. THAT is a great feeling right there.

6.My sister is moving out of the state in June. I have so many mixed feelings about this. I really don’t know what to say to her about it. I want them to be happy. I want them to do what is right for their family. I am also selfishly screaming inside because I am going to miss the hell out of them and I feel like I am being abandoned. I am trying to be supportive. Inside I am screaming. That all translates into, “Life is busy and just go on pretending that you are happy” for me.

7.My stomach is growling but tomorrow is weigh in day. I can’t take another set back. I am really hoping that my Green Tea will stop the growling thing. It’s loud and interrupting my writing.

8. I have certain family members that I want to toss a brick at. They are living up north. 5 minutes from the Grannie that I would kill to have living closer to me, yet they don’t visit her. They don’t enjoy her and they actually bitch about her wanting to be around them. If anyone would like to donate a moving truck, some gas and a few big guys to go get her for me and move her ass to Florida where she will be appreciated, please let me know.

9. My cousin has mentioned that they are trying to come down to visit. (cousin is not one of the brick targets) I am so damn excited because….this will be the first people that have come to visit me since I moved to Florida in 1989. They all bitch that I never come up there. I have been back to Michigan 5 times since I moved. Not once has anyone been down here. I nicely explained this to them while I visited this past summer. Fuckers.

10. I think I am going to hire someone to do a blog design for me. Give them free reign. I get so unhappy so quickly when I do it. I am liking the beach theme a lot but I just feel all cluttered. I can’t think of one thing that I can whap out of my side bars though. Chica!!!!!!!!! Take me away!!!!!

11. I wish Betz lived closer. I think I could use a kitchen table session with the one person on this planet that I feel understands me. How is it that I feel this way about a woman that I have never laid eyes on?

12. I just learned a pattern to crochet a blanket. It’s super easy and I am enjoying it. I am afraid that because I am enjoying it, it makes me old. I don’t think I care though.

13. I want to hit the lotto. I think that if I could buy my house so I wouldn’t have to move I could whap that off of my worry list. I also would be able to keep my hub home. I bitched about that earlier in the week. I could get laid whenever I wanted. I wouldn’t have to do any more computer work unless I wanted to. Oh wait, it is already like that for me. Heh. I could set by my pool, crochet my ass off, play WOW all night long and send the kids to the garden whenever they yelled for food. How cool would that be?

I promise that I will stop bitching and whining now. Ciao.

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